Venus in Gemini – All That Glitters

Originally published on AstroGeek and Heretical Oracles under the pen name Artemis.

Effective Dates– 5/24-6/17/16

“Invisible threads are the strongest ties.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

Press on the gas peddle, it’s fucking Gemini season!  Everything seems to speed the fuck up at this time of year.  And BAM, Venus is having her next ingress.  This one kinda hit me out of nowhere.  I was beginning to fall asleep from a Taurean induced stupor, cradled by ice cream and soap operas.  This is a welcomed fucking wake up call.  I feel like someone just dunked me in ice water and told me to get my shit together.  It’s party season.

Who hasn’t fallen for a god damn Gemini (god damn fdsjlksadjf Gemini)?  Venus in the Twins is a charming muse who skips around blowing minds and bringing a flair of sophistication to any romantic interaction.  She makes you laugh, she makes you think, and then she leaves you.  And this is why we have all also hated a Gemini.

I absolutely love air signs in Venus.  It gives love a flirtatious, easy going nature (which is nice coming out of serious earth).  We are crawling out of a period of time where our emotions were worn on our sleeve.  The last couple of Venusean ingresses have brought to the surface the flood waters of our heart, revealing to us truer shades of our attachments.  Now that we have received our insights, it is time to dive deep into our connections.  It’s time to view love from the Air sign’s perspective.

Saturn and Venus are coming into opposition, so I suspect Gemini will give us epiphanies about the grand plan.  What do I mean by this?  It will show you just why you are connected to the ones you love, and just why you value what you value.  We have a primal attraction to what we are attracted to for a reason.  It’s an eerie sort of fate, and it gets stranger  with a planet like Saturn involved.  Saturn is going to give Venus a lot of pressure to address her grand plan.  Saturn wants answers, and he wants purpose.  He likes structure and lines and containers, and love really rebels against all of this.  Love destroys any sense of “container.”  The intellectualization of Venus in Gemini fighting a idealistic Saturn in Sagittarius is going to be quite the battle.  With these two signs, I imagine two girls fighting in a pudding or something.  Hey it’s still fighting, and one of them has to win!  It’s just going to be kind of a sexy fight.  As the fighting between these two progresses, love will address the structure of our life and the structure of our life will effect our love.  It’ll be a tug of war for a while, but one of their influence will overpower the other in your personal chart.  However,  both will be forever changed from this interaction.  The mutable Grand Cross is coming, and big changes are ahead.

How do air signs fall in love?  With our brains.  No, dead serious.  If we can find someone who makes connections in the same way that we do, regardless of their belief system, we find great value in this.  Gemini is the flirt for a reason.  She is always testing our minds, seeing how everything holds up and if we are able to contend with her.  This is plain and simple air sign behavior.  Get ready for a lot of this, in yourself and others.  Gemini is going to send us out into the world, exploring each other’s paradigms and having a lot of brain sex.  Doesn’t that sound awesome?

2 of Wands warns us not to fear the unknown.  Just go out there and find your vision.  It manifests when you are around similar thinking people.  You can solve this puzzle together and find out why we are pulled to the people we are pulled to.  Why are these particular loves in your life?  Insight is here, and it’s electrifying.

Mercury Direct – Measure of a Man

Originally published on AstroGeek and Heretical Oracles under the pen name Artemis.

Effective Date:  5/22/16

“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.”  — Tolkien

Cards:  King of Pentacles, 8 of Wands, 4 of Swords

So, I have good news.  Those are powerful words aren’t they?  It’s a nice feeling, to sense things shifting in a different direction.  A slightly more stable direction.  Like, instead of rolling down a hill in a flaming car, now we are outside of the car and tumbling down.  This is better!  We were in a 6 planet deep retrograde period, and now that Jupiter and Mercury have gone direct, we only have to deal with 4 more wolves (Saturn, Mars, Pluto and Juno).

We have learned who our friends are.  The internal burrowing we have done, deep down into the marrow of our bones, has purged a lot of our demons.  So here’s the thing.  After you are done fighting the demons inside of you, you naturally bring them outside of you.  Now that Mercury is swinging back into forward motion, those things are going to become projected into your external world.  They are going to manifest as situations or people in your daily life, and you are going to have to take what you have learned and swiftly defeat these ghosts of your anxieties.  Don’t panic.  This is a good thing.  This is the only way to defeat them once and for all.

We are almost done with this intense wave of internal war, and the external enemies are going to begin to poke their heads out of the woodwork.  Be swift.  Don’t waste your time.  You have come out of this Mercury retrograde period with a deeper understanding of the workings of your own mind.  It’s a scary fucking place, yeah?   So now it is far easier to understand the way that the darkness behaves in your external environment.  Your brain is going to shift focus to the external world once again.

With this Sagittarius full moon on the horizon, this is going to be an incredible time of action.  Decisions are going to be made, coffins are going to be nailed shut, and ghosts are going to be put to rest.  And thank the fucking gods because some of these things have needed to die for a long time now.  Mercury being in Taurus will make all of your actions very purposeful.  Don’t give into the lazy energy of the bull, because if you don’t put the externalizing issues to rest, if you don’t do battle with your inner demon become outer dragon, you’re going to regress tremendously.  Getting your ass kicked by the personification of your anxieties is a very traumatizing experience!  That’s like double PTSD…  So take what you have learned during the past few weeks of demon days and utilize it.

Lilith in Scorpio – Dark Desires

Originally published on AstroGeek and Heretical Oracles under the pen name Artemis.

Effective Dates: 5/22-12/2/16

“We are all born sexual creatures, thank God, but it’s a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.”  — Marilyn Monroe

Cards:  The Devil, 8 of Swords, The Queen of Swords

You will hear me barking about mirrors all of the time.  It is one of my favorite topics.  We are all little mirrors running around, projecting our issues into the outside world and receiving projections from others.  Sometimes we forget where our reflection begins and where the reflections of others end.  Unlike a mirror you may use to look at your beautiful face, humans are living, lucid mirrors.  We are ever morphing like liquid, filling cracks, reflecting some more, creating labyrinths of the mind – projecting outward and beckoning our deepest, most repressed desires to manifest as people and events in our lives.  We take things in – traumatic events or hurtful words people say – and leave a void in the world.  This is where Black Moon Lilith comes in with her influence.

Who is the mirror of the moon?  Why, that is the Black Moon Lilith.  So what the fuck is that?  Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?  Why, Lilith gives no fucks about silly questions like that.  She is the “evil” queen, aka the wild, self owned woman who kicked Adam in the teeth and bore a bunch of demon babies in some myths.  She is not passive femininity like Eve, who is born of his rib and bound to her identity as a subplot of man.  No, she is as much of a full being as Adam.  She is associated with the dark sexual energy inside all of us that we unfortunately stifle due to the commands from “civilized” society.  And then we label those urges a “monster” or “demon.”  How backwards is that?  “Exercise the beast, don’t exorcise the beast,” goes a famous Satanic saying.  You can’t ever rid yourself of your primal side, so you better learn how to harness it and ride that dragon.

Nature has no idea what the fuck we are talking about when we say shit like “good” and “evil.”  It doesn’t know “good” and “evil.”  Nature only recognizes when things are out of wack and a horrible imbalance has crept into the fold.  With our actions, we create a pocket or a void in our life.  Back to Black Moon Lilith.  During this ingress of the Queen of mental darkness, Black Moon Lilith will show us just how tight our blindfolds are.  Shackles of various kinds lead to mental blocks that keep us from fully expressing our nature.  As the mirror of the moon, Lilith will show us what personality traits we have developed to repress our desires.  Scorpio is very heavy handed when it comes to transmutation.  Why are you so terrified to change?  You know that your job, spouse, whatever, sucks.  So why don’t you leave?  Why don’t you severe?  Because you are afraid of your own power.  Lilith left her position of glory because she did not love Adam and did not want to be his servant, as the Abrahamic god YHWH commanded.  That was some big fucking decision…  That means she wont take any of your shit excuses anymore.

It’s time to change.  You feel it in the air, don’t you?  All of the events the past couple of moons have been gearing us up for our ability to cut through this thick jungle of our mind.  We have witnessed deep misery.  We have witnessed the power of the cosmos and how we are mere peons when it comes to the force of nature.  The “dream” that society gives us is as fragile as glass when it comes to the forces inside of us.  Don’t fight her.  Learn from her.  Lilith will crack you open and devour your insides.  She is ruthless.  Change is inevitable, and that realization alone is enlightening.

Remember what I told you when Vesta entered Gemini?  Watch your mind.  You lie to yourself as much as you lie to others.  Those urges you feel in your gut, what do they say to you?  If you do not manifest what you truly desire, the demons in your external world will just get scarier and scarier.  And then they will seep back into your brain as anxieties and more trauma and back out like a horrifying wheel of death and destruction.  Break that fucking wheel!  This Lilith energy is very Kali, the dark dancing Hindu goddess of time, creation, preservation and destruction.  She is associated with Shakti energy, or feminine sexual energy that leads to Kundalini Awakening.  Creation and destruction are mirrors, and this is an ancient creative/destructive force we are dealing with.  The deep, repressed desires inside of you are your way to the light.  They only seem ugly because we are reflecting back the tremendous fear that society has for the wild.  The power inside all of us is tremendous and boundless.  Why wouldn’t that terrify a handler?

Lilith knows she was born a Queen, not a slave.  Let this lesson pass on.  Don’t live your life in quiet servitude to those around you.  Transform, become one with your desires, let the fucking beast out of the cage.  Don’t let them use your own mind against you.  Don’t let them tell you what you want.  You know what you want.

Full Moon in Sagittarius – Worst Enemy

Originally published on AstroGeek and Heretical Oracles under the pen name Artemis.

Effective Date – 5/21/16

“No, no! The adventures first, explanations take such a dreadful time.” 
― Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass

Adventure.  What could be more holy than the very pilgrimage one embarks on to find the “light”, the “answer”, the “whatever the fuck it is we are looking for?”  There is always that insatiable itch inside of us that screams, “GO OUT THERE AND FIND IT!”  (Whatever “it” is.)  The world is so big and vast; of course the answer must be out there!  Well, let me let you in on a little secret.  God is like an onion.  Stay with me here.  God is like an onion.  You keep peeling back layers and layers, hoping to reveal something, but all you’re really revealing is more and more of the same – all the way to the core.  As above so below.  We are the very fabric of what makes up this universe.  Explore yourself by exploring everything around you.  Your exterior reality is like a mirror.  Don’t be afraid to peer deeply.Sun (The Fool), Moon (Ace of Wands), Mars (2 of Wands):  For the full moon in Sagittarius, I pulled the Ace of Wands.  What we imagine, we become.  We tend to build an image of ourselves and stick with that image like it is the one true god.  Guess what?  You can become whoever you want to be whenever you want to be.  Your imagination is even more powerful than you could ever imagine (ooo paradox).  We build the reality around us, which means you build your own prison by choosing to allow others to dictate your reality.  This card is reminding us that we are lit as fuck and there is nothing that can smolder our divine fire.  Don’t fear doing your work or finding your way.  Everyone is honestly just terrified – like, all the fucking time.  Everyone claims that they are looking for truth, but few are brave enough to look at it.  When you stoke your fires, so to speak, there will be people around you who will try and smolder your light so they aren’t forced to see.  Fuck these people.  For the Sun, I pulled The Fool.  Reset.  It’s time for you to do something you’ve been afraid to do.  It’s time for you to take that leap of faith and possibly tumble off a cliff to your doom.  BUT, if you do survive, and your instincts were right, you could stumble into some form of great personal enlightenment during this full moon.  With the 2 of Wands representing Mars in this reading, I would go on to say that a major decision needs to be made.  I know the Mars in retrograde energy has everyone aggressive and unmotivated, but if you can actually make a clear decision about your future actions – if you can develop a vision – you will be surprised by the surge of energy you receive to spearhead this vision.

Mercury (The Star), Jupiter (7 of Cups), Saturn (Page of Swords), Neptune (King of Wands), Pluto (The Moon):  We’re about to drop off a very nasty cliff the next couple of weeks, so you better start learning to fly.  You also need to stop fighting the retrogrades.  Sorry, you can’t run from the forced introspection.  The planets have put a magnifying glass to your soul for a reason.  You can’t fucking hide from your own mind.  So you better get your adventure party together and quest to the center to face your own great beast.  With the card combinations present, it looks like the outer planets are gearing for some reality rattling.  For Pluto, I pulled The Moon, which means he is going to continue digging at you until you realize what subconscious forces have been pulling you toward the horrible chaos in your life.  You are choosing to march in these directions.  But why?  What inside of you keeps you circling back around to the trash piles of reality?  For Neptune I pulled the King of Wands and for Jupiter I pulled the 7 of Cups.  We are brimming with ideas right now.  Our heads are swimming with so many things we could be doing and experiencing, and our very urge to go and explore every nook and cranny is going to inflame our imagination.  This comes with a bit of a warning, though – check yourself at every step to see that the pieces are fitting together correctly.  Saturn being the Page of Swords suggests that insecurity is not over yet.  Saturn knows that we know how to assume our power in this world, but he also knows we need a big push to do so.  This is tough love, guys.  He fucks our shit up so that we can become stronger and wiser.  Don’t fear your knowledge.  Trust it.  Trust yourself and do what you need to do.

Venus (Queen of Pentacles) and Uranus (6 of Swords):  Venus is trying to tell us that in order to find pleasure right now, we must soak ourselves back into the earth.  Get outside.  Go climb trees and roll around in the grass and have a hike.  The crazy thing about nature is that it teaches us everything we need to know about pleasure and beauty.  It teaches us about the severity that is also necessary from time to time.  But, regardless of how horrible the severity is in any natural climate, there is still an awesome beauty to it all that cannot be denied.  Venus is telling us to find the beauty in the pain.  There are no mistakes.  Everything is a part of the greater echo system.  Take a different perspective.  And that is exactly what the 6 of Swords for Uranus is telling me.  It is time to move on from our old ways.  It’s time to come up with new methods.  Your habits of the past aren’t going to cut it for the next level.  The quest is long, we have no idea what is at the core, but I’m going to bet the infinite things we experience on the journey paint a mirror image of the destination.

Vesta in Gemini – Whispers

Originally published on AstroGeek and Heretical Oracles under the pen name Artemis.

Effective Date: 5/16-7/26/16

“But if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought.”  – George Orwell, 1984

Cards:  the tower, the hierophant, 10 of swords

Fanaticism starts in the mind.  Watch what you say and how you say it, because words are a magical spell.  Your words, like seeds, weave intentions subconsciously; slipping themselves into your personal symbolism until one day they blossom and overrun your brain like dandelions on steroids.  Have you noticed the power certain ones have over you or a collective?  Call someone a “terrorist.”  Better yet, call a woman a “cunt” and see what happens.  Tell someone they “deserved” something.  The funny thing is, words are just puffs of air, blots of ink, or digitized nothingness.  They can’t really hurt you, can they?  I use to be a very sensitive kid.  I was very distraught over the fact that people weren’t kind to each other, and the smallest insult would send waterfalls down my cheeks.  My first grade teacher sat me down one day and repeated the words that just about every adult has said to a child, “Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can never hurt you.”  She was wrong.

Words can sway entire nations.  Words can make you fall in love.  Words are the building blocks of the world, and no one knows this better than Gemini.  We give Gemini’s a lot of shit in astrology, but they really are the primordial power of air.  They are connection, tributaries, circuit board that brings all of the information together.  They are libraries and telephones.  They are the motherfucking internet.  Where Vesta in Taurus had us diving into what our foundations are, and our dedication to those foundations.  Vesta in Gemini will have us contemplating our dedication to certain ideas.  This is a combination for zealotry (hello hierophant surrounded by the tower and 10 of swords – both very destructive cards that alter our entire worldview).  Be very careful during this season.

If you built your idealistic foundation on something solid, then this ingress will have you developing its method.  If you are an artist of ideas and words, this is going to be a great time for dedicating yourself to your work.  Gemini is a mercurial sign, and therefore will not stop until every rock is overturned.  Their busy minds work like a locomotive, so use this time of mental dedication to develop your ideas.  Vesta is all about dedication and stoking one’s flames.  Without the eternal fire in our belly, there is no torch to guide us through life.  Vesta in Gemini will magnify our ideas and language and show us just how they fit into the ideology and passions that move us through life.  You will be shown just how powerful language really is. It is time to let false constructs fall, because building towers on shaky ground will only lead to complete devastation in the future (10 of swords) via fanaticism (hierophant).  The cards are heavily warning us here.  Please keep in mind that certain words can completely shut your brain off, while others can blast open a door of imprisonment.  Be careful to learn what makes up your personal ideology and what words have complete power over you when you hear them.  It could be someone’s name.  It could be whispering rumors.  To combat them, build weapons using your own words.  Ideas and words are the suit of swords in the tarot for a reason…

Jupiter Direct in Virgo – Confession

Originally published on AstroGeek and Heretical Oracles under the pen name Artemis.

Effective date- May 10, 2016

“Why are you so afraid?

I can see you waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting
Withering away 
I can see you dying, dying, dead, dying, dying
Why?  Why?
Baby see
Try” – Banks

Cards:  The Star, King of Wands, 8 of Cups

HOLY FUCK YES YES YES YES YES, JUPITER HAS GONE DIRECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you tell I’m excited?  Jupiter, the god of Prosperity and luck.  Jupiter, the god of expansion and adventure and philosophy.  Jupiter, the storm king of JOY!

Jupiter has been retrograde for 4 months now, and we have been downtrodden and out of luck.  When he moves backwards, he takes our joy and our luck with him.  Shit is just more difficult than it needs to be when we don’t have him giving us his good graces.  The Storm King has officially given us back the light at the end of our tunnels.  Since January, we have been forced to turn inwards.  Unfortunately, this took a shot at our self esteem and manifested a series of unfortunate events (that got worse and worse as more and more planets joined in with the retrograde), but things are about to CHANGE.

For Jupiter going direct, I pulled The Star, The King of Wands, and the 8 of Cups.  The Star is a clear indication that hope has returned in our lives.  When you are lost in the woods your mind, forced to go so far into your own psychology by the fucking retrograding Jupiter, Mars, Pluto, Mercury, Saturn death squad, Jupiter finally going direct is a speck of hope.  Once you find the north star, you can find your way out of any dark forest.  Once you latch on to something that is unmoving and solid in your life, that fills you with an eternal knowing of yourself, that you can’t deny or destroy, you learn to re-orient yourself.

Jupiter is all about going out and exploring the world.  You have all played Oregon Trail, yeah?  This few month retrograde period has been like watching your whole wagon crew get mauled by bears.  Every adventurer knows the dangers of their pursuit, but their eternal optimism and curiosity is what keeps them whacking their way through the thick underbrush.  They keep their mind on the trail, on the goal, and on the fascinating things they find along the way.  Don’t let the setbacks of the past couple of months crush your spirit.  Jupiter going direct is having our spirit re-ignited.  The King of Wands showing up is a clear indication of this for me.  Jupiter going direct in Virgo also tells me that we will be gaining a lot of good luck if we peruse Virgoan ideas (like self improvement, service to others, intellectual pursuits).  Don’t sit still.  It’s time to get up and EXPLORE your world and try things you would have never tried before.  Do things that scare you.  Don’t hold back.  The positive outbursts of energy and the enthusiasm that you throw back into the world is now going to bounce right back at you.  It’s time to manifest your destiny – manifest change -be a pioneer (remember, Sagittarius, the cowboy of the zodiac, is associated with Jupiter).

The last card I pulled is the 8 of cups.  This is GOOD.  The waters are starting to move, and our baptism is almost complete.  In the deck that I am using, 8 of Cups is called “rebirth.”  It is time to let all of the shit we have been internally contemplating die.  It is time to let all of the shit that is shackling us to our sad lives die.  Jupiter doesn’t sit around and restricting himself and punishing himself like Saturn.  He wants to see things, experience things, laugh, and participate in higher thinking with others.  He is prosperity and expansion in all parts of our life.  He is like the waters, seeping into every crack effortlessly and with immense curiosity.  It is time for us to start doing the same and see all the crazy connections that come to us because of this.  If you don’t leave your normal routine, how will you ever find adventure and prosperity?

Get out of your comfort zone.  Luck is back on our side.  Stick your nose in something that has been poking at your curiosity and inspiring you.  Don’t be afraid!  You see your North Star, now run to it!  And don’t forget to laugh.


New Moon in Taurus – The Price

Originally published on AstroGeek and Heretical Oracles under the pen name Artemis.

Effective date- May 6, 2016

MOON:  4 of Swords
SUN:  The Hermit
Mercury:  Ace of Swords
Venus:  The High Priestess
Mars:  4 of Cups
Jupiter:  King of Cups
Saturn:  King of Pentacles
Uranus:  7 of Pentacles
Neptune:  6 of Swords
Pluto:  7 of Cups

If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.”  ― E.B. White

Taurus is such a lazy piece of shit sometimes.  No, seriously!  You Taureans are one of my greatest delights.  I seriously adore you guys and always seem to be surrounded by your bullheaded presence.  The earth sign Taurus is ruled by Venus, who is the embodiment of love, pleasure, and fortune.  Gluttony, sloth, and lust are my favorite sins, and Taurus and her Venusean sister, Libra, wear those sins like a summer dress.  You can make it all look so good, Taurus…

But you’re lazy as fuck.

With my natal Mars in Taurus, I COMPLETELY get it.  I would rather be lying on furs, eating chocolate covered strawberries and screwing all night, but I also have to pay my earthy masters their due (bills bills bills).  Fortunately, Taurus is here to teach us that work and the physical world do not need to be like Chinese water torture (where every day just slowly drives us more and more insane).

For the Sun, I pulled The Hermit.  That Scorpio full moon sure did a number on us, and 5 planets in retrograde surely didn’t help.  We retreated.  We went away and exposed the deepest parts of ourselves to our inner eye.  Only through crossing Scorpio’s dark void can we be reborn.  Unfortunately, when we gain a new understanding about anything (especially about the self), there comes an equal backlash of isolation.  The Hermit teaches us that once we go up the holy mountain, we wont come back down as someone people will initially understand.  We are seeking our inner truth.  We realized that the only way to live is from this inner truth; fuck these illusory reasons society feeds us from birth.  Things look different now under this new light.  Don’t fret if you are misunderstood.  Hold your ground stubbornly, says the Taurus Sun, because once you start shining, the whole world wants to bring you down.  Shed all the shit you don’t need for this spiritual journey.  Only keep the things that feel good in your heart and make you feel lighter for your long pilgrimage.
For the new moon in Taurus, I pulled the 4 of Swords.  Ugh, Taurus is laying the laziness on thick.  She knows we are tired as fuck right now.  So rest up, darlings.  Indulge a little.  Eat some cake.  Make love.  Laugh.  Sing.  Get some sleep.  Give yourself a little break, because the past few weeks have been ROUGH.  Pull back from the people who are causing you anxiety, regroup, recharge, and sketch up your next plan of action.  This is some beautifully lush energy coming in, but even though we will be taking in life’s simple pleasures, we will still remember our goal and where we are going.  Relaxation and regeneration doesn’t hinder one from getting to where they are going.  Hell fucking no.  It makes life worth living, it strengthens us (body, mind, and soul), and it gives us an opportunity for release.  So, lay back… let go of your worries… just for a bit.

For Mercury, I pulled the Ace of Swords.  The regenerative moon is going to give us access to our ideas and our words again.  Even though we may be in retrograde at this time, the conjunct with Mercury/Sun/Moon will give us a great deal of elation and bull headed poise.  But be careful!  Mercury in Taurus makes us blunt and sometimes all too harsh with our words.  Truth is a double edged sword.  Are you willing to bleed for what you’re about to say?  This is probably a good time for work involving words and the intellect.  Our minds are sharp, poking at all the tiny details (which can lead to a fuck ton of anxiety, so try and slow down a bit and take care of yourself).  Just remember, don’t get too caught up.  Harness this powerful, kinetic energy but don’t let it get you carried away. For our darling Venus, I pulled the High Priestess.  Sneaky, sneaky, Venus.  It seems that she has been fatefully weaving again, and she’s not talking.  This is another indication that we need to STOP and BREATHE.  The High Priestess has many secrets.  She is intuitive power, perception, the seer, knowledge that cannot be acquired by the intellect alone.  What are the things you seemed to “know at first sight?”  In Venus in Taurus, she tells us that through the lips of joy, we will hear our answers.  Follow your initial instincts, no matter how strange they may seem to your rational mind.  There are forces at work that we cannot see, so we must be silent and listen.  It may seem strange, but through your ability to relax and enjoy yourself – to have pleasure in the company of those that make your heart warm – you will find the answer to a great mystery.  Shhhh, just listen.  This is also a good indication that this is the perfect time for magickal workings – especially in regards to Fortune and Love.  For Uranus, I pulled the 7 of Pentacle.  More blah blah blah, reap reap reap.  The outer planets are incessantly giving us this message.   Make sure that you timing things correctly right now.  All of your hard work can and will go to waste if you are not watching for the right times to initiate.  Uranus knows that sometimes you need to strike like lightening and do things in spontaneous flashes.  Go with your hunches.  When something feels like it’s ready to go, then get going with it.

For our buddy Mars, I pulled the 4 of Cups.  Ugh.  We get it.  We’re tired.  We need to rest.  We need to meditate.  Mars in retrograde right now means everyone is still in double asshole mode, so try and retract this energy as best as possible.  Don’t let the apathy eat you alive.  Our energy is drained, we are contemplating throwing in the towel because this shit that is stacking up against us is getting very fucking high.  Don’t miss opportunities because you feel like you can’t take them on right now.  Be playful.  Look at things you wouldn’t have looked at before.  Look AWAY from yourself.  Your energy is creating a giant  friggin MIRROR and perhaps all you have been seeing lately is yourself.  Step out of your Martian ego.  Inspiration is desperately needed right now, and this card is telling me it is literally right under our noses.  For those of you who have the ability to duel with your ego, get ready for some epiphanies. For Neptune, I pulled 6 of Swords.  It looks like the spiritual world is putting us through some spiritual trials right now.  Jeez, thanks, like we didn’t notice that one…  It seems all of our bullshit right now is karmic, and that’s ok.  Deal with it now and swiftly before it submerges your ship.  Although we have had a tremendous amount of misfortune lately, this is a clear indication that we are moving on from that.  Things are going to get crazy with the grand cross and the Eris/Uranus conjunct, sure, but at least this last karmic phase is starting to close up.  What awaits us on the other side?

For Jupiter, I pulled the King of Cups.  It looks like Jupiter is going to be the jovial king he is suppose to be.  At the time of the New Moon, he will be 2 days away from being direct again (HALLEFUCKINLUAH).  He is also going to be a part of the magnificent Grand Earth Trine that is happening smack dab in the middle of our cruel Mercury Retrograde.  He is here to offer us what we want, so what will you ask for?  This is a wonderful time for expansion, for relaxing, for a bit of laughter and relief from all of this craziness going on.  If you have been thinking of launching a project or an idea, this is the perfect time.  Luck will be on your side. For Saturn, I pulled the King of Pentacles.  Yeah, yeah, we get it.  Saturn is still telling us that even though we have this little bit of relaxation coming our way, we still need to prepare for what is ahead.  He is always such a friggin drag.  3 of the 4 planets that will be participating in the grand cross in June are already in place (forming a dreaded t-square in the sky).  Jupiter, Neptune, and Saturn are all putting pressure on each other and waiting for the Sun to hit the mid point of Gemini (Grand Cross is on 6/6/16).  So get your ducks in order.  Saturn is still in retrograde, so continue working on those loose ends and build your fortified walls.  You must become the master of your domain in order to use the grand cross that’s coming as a spiritual evolutionary gateway instead of a baseball bat to all of your hopes and dreams.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.  For Pluto, I pulled the 7 of Cups.  Ugh, screw you Pluto.  He is throwing so much shade our way.  All of the bullshit you keep in your head is coming out louder and louder to haunt you.  No one likes digging up more skeletons, but at least this card is indicating to us that it is all just illusions trying to bring us down.  All those things nagging at you and giving you anxiety are shit that have been put in your head by others.  Proper behavior.  Career goals.  Relationship goals.  Blah blah blah.  Look away.  Don’t get blinded by all of the things people tell you that you should have and fucking get Plutonian and DESTROY that shit.  Once you have demolished the buzzing bees of societal expectations, you can finally hear the voice deep inside.  Then you will know what you truly want.  This will be the rebirth you need before the coming Grand Cross.