Uranus Conjunct Eris – War Drums

Originally published on AstroGeek and Heretical Oracles under the pen name Artemis.


“In chaos, there is fertility.” ― Anaïs Nin

Effective Dates: June 1 2016- May 16 2018

(Cards: Uranus 2 of Wands, Ace of Wands, 3 of Wands Eris Tower, King of Wands, Emperor)-

So the very slow moving asteroid Eris (formerly known as Persephone – consort of Pluto) is going conjunct with our familiar giant planet of Chaos, Uranus.  And I pulled a fuck ton of fucking crazy cards.  Happy April Fucking Fools!

Eris is laughing at us already.    She throws a golden apple into the center of our cosmic party.  “For the most beautiful one!  Kallisti!”  Are you the one worthy of picking it up?  Could you?  Should you? Probably not, because Eris is the goddess of motherfucking DISCORD and CHAOS.  Lower your egos down a notch, everyone.  She’s going to sucker punch us all one by one, and we need to stick together here.  Shit is going to get rough for everyone, but seriously – we all need to stick together.  Eris has no mercy.  She will show you what you need to see, and she will show you violently.


Get out something to chew on or find a spot you can pace in, because this one is going to be rough.

In all seriousness, this is a very serious post.  “Why so serious, Artemis?” Because the last time this conjunct happened, the Nazi party sprouted, FDR became president, and the initial rattlings of WWII started to become visible.  I know you can all feel it.  Don’t bullshit me.  Don’t bullshit yourself.  You can see it in the eyes of everyone around you.  We all know something big is on the horizon, and we can all smell the blood in the air.  We don’t know exactly what it is… but our spidey senses are alarming the fuck out.

Birds can feel a storm before it comes and flock together (and they fly the fuck away).  Sensing danger is instinctual.  We don’t even know we are doing it, but our subconscious mind picks up on the clues around us.  We can all sense when we are being lied to and culled.  We are being penned up, and they are about to take us to slaughter.  The thing is, animals know when they are about to get slaughtered.  And they start going MAD.

Our political climate is set for it.  It is almost impeccable.  Whatever way we decided to tip, we have already set up the dominoes.  All Eris is doing is snickering and toppling them over.  She is the initial spark; the CHAOS needed to get motion going.

So what is Uranus doing in this reading?  He is saying, fuck this shit, stuff is going to start changing around here!  Like flashes of lightening, we wont see it coming and it might be a little disturbing at first.  The outer planets like to deal in the macro.  They talk in politics and mass human behavior.  Uranus likes to talk about revolution and innovation.  It looks like some massive inventions might be on the horizon this year.  Bold new plans.  Bold new uptakes.  Bold New World.  Will it be for the better?  I don’t know.  Was the invention of the nuclear bomb for the betterment of humanity?  Was the invention of cars for the betterment of humanity?  No thing in itself is purely good or evil.  Is it good for YOUR worldview?  Whatever the innovations will be, they will be an evolutionary step for humanity.

Around and around we go.  You see, our sun (Sol) is rocketing through space at about 70,000 km an hour.  This means that the planets are trailing after it in a spiral fashion, creating a literal helix.  Sometimes the planets coast out ahead of the sun, sometimes they trail behind.  The sun isn’t just sitting there as planets rotate around it in a static fashion.  Oh no.  We are fucking throttling through space right now at high speeds.  The world is in constant movement, spiraling outward, each rotation the same yet different.  We have reached another solar rotation of Uranus since 1932, my friends, and now he and Eris will be effecting similar yet different revolutionary change.  Notice the patterns.  As above, so below.

It is time to seize opportunity.  Shit is fucked up.  It seriously is.  All around the world, shit is fucked up.  We see it clear as day, so why do we look away?  This energy is going to make a lot of us snap back to reality.  Things are happening HERE, where you LIVE.  Do you see the massive election going on?  It is one of the craziest we have had in decades.  Everything hangs by a thread.  America is a failing Empire, and the route we choose to take is extremely important right now.  Rise to the occasion.  This is our last chance.  We have the Ace of Wands next, indicating that a surge of power and heat will descend upon us.  People are going to get riled up.  It is inevitable.  How they decide to harness this surge of energy will be up to them.  Will we use it to destroy our enemies, or will we use it to destroy each other?  We end with the two of wands for Uranus, warning us against arrogance.  This combination props up revolutionaries who are working through truly Aquarian values; humanitarianism and group evolution.  We are BOLD right now – especially in the sign of Aries.  We want our voices to be fucking heard already!  Can you hear it?  All over the world, the people are roaring.

Chaos is, at first, seen as a shiney novelty.  We have our new thing, like the smart phone, and it is glorious.  This is like the butterfly effect.  The novelty gains popularity.  More and more people want it.  More and more Chaos ensues.  We source slave labor to make their parts.  We suck whole generations into a small screen so that we can program them easier.  Don’t you see?  Chaos, at first, is a tempting seductress.  She eases our worry and shows us something innovative and great.  What we don’t realize is that if we don’t steer her OUR direction, that she will show us the folly of our ways.  She will show us just how we can abuse our power.  This is Eris’ lesson.

The cards I pulled for Eris are kinda ominous.  Why wouldn’t they be?  It’s fucking Eris, the goddess of Discord.  The information we are being fed is trying to stack things against us.  It is making us feel weak and stupid.  Be warned, Eris is going to take all of this down.  The wool is going to be pulled from our eyes, but it’s not going to be very pleasant.  But hey, at least we will finally be getting some fucking truth, right?  The Tower card is indicating that there is mass corruption that is about to go down.  What is the most obvious metaphor for The Tower card?  Probably 9/11.  No one knew those towers were going to come down (well, I could argue conspiracy, but I’ve already rambled long enough).  It was seemingly out of nowhere, and it completely changed the culture of the United States.  Seemingly out of nowhere, something may occur that will rattle our very foundations as a country.  What could the unexpected be?

I guess I really can’t tell you, can I?

The next two cards I pulled for Eris are the King of Wands and The Emperor.  The King of Wands is the King who cannot sit on his throne.  He is an action oriented king, and he is an innovator.  In my Hexen 2.0 Tarot deck, he is represented by Nicola Tesla.  The King of Wands is obsessed.  A new zeal will move about the political atmosphere; a fever of some kind.  This could be good, and this could be bad.  Really, people, it’s all about your intent.  Bend the energy to your will.  The final card is The Emperor.  He is Mars, and he is industry and war.  This card in this position warns us that every little thing that we do now has larger repercussions in the future.  We are walking on a tight rope and we need to sway in just the right ways.  Do you really know what being in charge of your own destiny feels like?  The reigns are about to switch, and if we, as the people, cannot take them, then someone else will.  Who will rule?  Will the chaos that ensues put someone diabolical in that oval office, or will we be so fired up by this energy that we will storm the capital and take back what is ours?



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