New Moon Gemini – The Starting Line

Originally published on Heretical Oracles under the pen name Artemis.

“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language And next year’s words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.” – T.S. Eliot

During this lunation, you are feeling a bit on edge and disorganized no doubt. You know you have to do something, but what in the holy fuck is it?  Gemini isn’t one to like sitting around and meditating on an answer. They would rather just go ahead and try a million things and see what happens.  Honestly, this isn’t a bad idea. I mean, the “just act” part of it – the just immerse yourself in life and see where the flow takes you. The key here will be digging into your intuition and the gravity of the situation and not just aiming mindlessly. We are being called to act because a lot of fire planets are lighting the goddamn earth on fire right now, and if we sit here we will die in it. So where are you going to run to?  Which direction are you going to take out of this chaotic mess? What are you going to take with you and who are you going to save from the burning rubble? When we run, we always run somewhere familiar… and that is a place that is dear to our hearts, that pulls us like a faint song in the forest.  When you are broken down, where does your faith always burn? In what idea and in what direction?  NOW RUN FOR IT!

The Sun (Hermit) and Moon (Hangman)- Oh my, shadow play with Gemini… These two are really projecting the archetype of this sign, mirroring each other on different surfaces. Your light side is meeting your dark side and they are finally agreeing to a course of action together. The moon is our black scrying mirror and the sun is our adorned bedroom mirror, each telling the same story but from a different perspective. One isn’t more “wrong” than the other – your beast nature and your cultivated nature – your past and your future, they collide together in your present. You must make it work. There has been a pummeling of your ego going on and this has been for your own good, so you could finally see what you need to see and drop the game you have been playing to keep you from this clarity. Your plans are being thwarted – shit is going wrong because you are going in the wrong direction. This New Moon is in an air sign, it’ll howl and bring storms with it (both metaphorical and literal and especially of the mental variety). You must let go, be like water and melt into the space that has been granted to you. When you don’t know where to go, let gravity carry you. Don’t be afraid to sit in silence and confront yourself during this moon. There are parts of you that aren’t satiated and you must make peace with them before they get out of control and subconsciously sabotage you. This New Moon is situated over the stars Prima Hyadum and Ain – the Bull’s Eye. This is a good time to isolate yourself, meditate, align your intent, and fire before the storm gets in. A single minded attack is what will work here – an obsessive will that is guided by all of your want merging into an explosion of complex passion.  If you don’t know where to go, choose what pulls you most even if it seems to make no real sense to you. Sometimes we don’t really get it until we get there.

Mercury (3 of Wands), Jupiter (Page of Wands), Neptune (High Priestess)-  Feeling the burn, Heretics? These planets, and the North Node in Leo, are setting shit on fucking fire – spiritual fire that is. Zealots in all arenas are coming together to wield their personal philosophies on the earth, and you have a burning desire to actually do something with your creative fire. Anything that doesn’t have direction will remain in the lower chakras – meaning sex and eating and endless hours of video game playing that doesn’t seem to wear out the itch. YOU NEED A FOCUS. You are wasting a good thing, and your wires will be fried if you don’t get that energy out there. Creative pursuits are very important right now, and instead of giving in to debauchery and apathy, you need to reign yourself in with that deep knowledge. You know when something isn’t right – don’t let idiots convince you that wasting your time and money is okay. Don’t let people convince you that drowning your fire and isolating your emotions is okay. Don’t let others tell you that your burning desire is some sort of disorder, or that your single mindedness for your passion is pushing others away.  FUCK NO.

Don’t let people diminish what you really know about yourself and your needs. Burn like a star, baby, and ask yourself, “What do I always have energy to do, no matter how tired I am – what can I always focus on?” and go do that thing. Mars is begging you for nourishment, for some faith after all of the shit you have gone through. Have faith in yourself, in your abilities, because if you don’t then the ideas of those around you will become yours instead of your own flourishing. And get running because the gun just blew and the race has begun and you don’t want to be an asshole on the sidelines when you could be immersed in life completely!  Don’t forget you are an individual and that your life path, your needs and wants, your style and passion is legitimate. Ideologies of the mind squash our hearts, and true will and ideology come from the heart. I can’t stress this enough – do not drown your fire, your emotions, just because they are scary. Let them burn and light the way.

Venus (2 of Cups) and Pluto (The Moon)- Dark desires all over this one. Do I trust Pluto when he is contacting Venus?  Uh, no. Dude is a shady motherfucker, and especially now when he is linked to the moon card. There are some unresolved things coming to the surface, and they will present themselves to you in your life in shadow ways. “But I thought Venus in Retrograde was over?” IT IS, but Pluto wants to give us a final test right now to see if we truly learned our lesson and can fight our dark desires + dark thoughts about our love life. Venus is still in Aries (grrrr), so impulsiveness is our enemy right now. There is a warning here to be careful of obsessive stalkers and perverts and people looking to dominate you instead of love you. Remember what love is really about and reflect on this during this time. Good relationships nourish you and mirror you back clearly. Manipulative ones distort the reflection and try and distort your idea about yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for falling victim to bad patterns and bad people. Everything is circumstantial. We are either lonely or the fill a karmic void in us or they are just almost that thing we have always been looking for or they promised us so much and we really believed they would come through… Don’t beat yourself up for being loving and accepting and open. Just, you know, learn your fucking lessons and look for the signs the next time because there are truly dangerous people and situations out there.  Trust your instincts, they will save you right now.

Mars (The Star), Saturn (4 of Cups) and Uranus (Knight of Pentacles)-  Don’t fall victim to manipulation during this lunation. Propaganda has a big edge, but there will be something off keeping you from being completely fooled… You’ve seen this before. Deja vu much? These things have happened in your life before (macro and micro), so don’t let them back into your life just because they feel familiar. Sometimes we are bombarded with similar horrors and we accept it into our lives because we don’t want to keep processing it. When we are confronted with the same sort of events and mistakes over and over again – the same kinds of horrible attitude toward us or fuck ups – we come to accept that “this is just the way things are.”  NOPE.  Things can be different. Things can change. It just requires attention and work. Don’t have apathy here. You must decide to go against this apathy and strike up an interest because you are being confronted with a karmic cycle and with this Mars/Saturn opposition, you are being called to finally take action against these particular cycles. Are you going to walk the talk and admit your faults so that you can fix them, or are you going to make a million excuses as to why you couldn’t have possibly done the thing? You have a choice here – as there is always a choice in an opposition, between hope and apathy, between boredom and healing, between setting out on a great adventure and sitting there forever stuck in the cycles because you are scared shitless to actually act and do something different. Uranus is prodding you to do the work as well, urging with fire and chaos – bringing us back on our path through violent or urgent or spontaneous acts. Do not fear as you walk through the fire and renew yourself. No one does it the right way the first time, but sitting here doing nothing makes us the villains as well.

 

Juno Retrograde – Escort

Originally published on Heretical Oracles under the pen name Artemis.

“All women sell sex; most of them just don’t take cash (nor do they each sell to more than one ‘client’ at a time).” – 
Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Effective Dates: May 10th- August 27th 2017 (In Shadow til October 10th 2017)

 I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I create drama in my own relationship. I am so use to hostility, from a very young age, that living without it makes me feel naked and on edge. If I’m not constantly fighting, then I don’t feel like things are “normal,” and that in itself is incredibly troubling. The only way to deal with bad cycles like this is to turn on your heal and face it head on, and that is exactly what Juno in Rx is going to do – turn the fuck around and actually LOOK. Juno Retrograde forces us to review our ideas about what commitment means, why we have the power struggles that we do in our relationships, and about sacrifice and loyalty in partnership. Essentially, what does it mean to be good to your partner? There is an art to this, and one can never become an artist without attention to detail.

We don’t usually have full clarity on something until it is gone, and then after it’s gone we need to go through a time of anguish before realizing it took two to tango and that no relationship ending is the fault of just one individual. At some point, we need to be humbled, and that’s not a fun fucking process at all. No one wants to be made to feel like shit when the other person clearly treated them like shit as well, and no one wants to think they weren’t all they could be in a relationship. But fuck, we keep things hanging on when they should end, and we end some things abruptly because of our own fear and insecurities. Our timing is fucking horrible. We introduce old toxic behaviors because we have become habituated to them. And we don’t apologize. We don’t do the “shadow work” required. We don’t look at our own projections; we don’t humble ourselves, and isn’t that one of the tenants of love? To humble thyself  – to show thyself raw and true?

It’s hard to move on. Even when you are the one who is ready to make peace, the other may not be. We need to learn to keep that peace within ourselves so we can move on to our new partnerships and friendships with a clear heart and mind. If we introduce the toxicity of the past, the insecurities, fragility, and the old habits of our past partner that we carbon copy onto our new, then we kill the love before it has a chance to thrive. We then just mimic a relationship without really having a relationship. The key to the thing is right in it’s name – RELATE. One must communicate, mirror, and process. But I get it, it’s hard to do this if you are not with someone who is willing to give you loyalty. If you do not have commitment and loyalty, it is hard to dive into the well of your heart and purge your demons. That whole process is a bit terrifying for people, and thus commitment sounds like the worst word in the world. But the thing is, when you have safe structures around you – only then can you let the poison of the past out. How can you heal when you are afraid of abandonment? So Juno asks, why do you invite people into your life who cannot truly be there for you? Why do you commit to the people that you commit to? What are you trying to re-live?

Our cycles in relationships will be examined like crazy right now – especially after a rough Venus in Retrograde season is just about over. This is the perfect time to work past  your old relationship trauma, to make peace, to destroy the patterns so that they do not destroy what is precious to you right now, and to realize that your habituated behaviors come out even when you don’t think they do. If you expect your partner to deal with your purging, you must also help them deal with their’s. A commitment goes both ways, so question why you are not willing to go all out for them if they are for you (or vice versa if they are the one who isn’t reaching across the isle). Why are you spinning in one place, forever trapped in the habits of the past? What is it you really need to work through? What insecurity is really driving those fights that you and your partner continuously have? It’s time to nip it in the bud before it rots the whole plant.  It’s time for some honesty. It’s time to be humble and to be true. Because you love them… don’t you?

 

Full Moon Scorpio – Wormwood

Originally published on Heretical Oracles under the pen name Artemis.

“There is an ancient tribal proverb I once heard in India. It says that before we can see properly we must first shed our tears to clear the way.”
 – Libba Bray

Effective Date:  5/10/2017

This is the last of it, Heretics. The North Node in Virgo, that is, and with it we are getting some cutting experiences.  This is the culmination of you finding out just how much of a doormat you really are before the NN moves into Leo, the sign of Ego and Self Worth. But Virgo wants you to give you one last work review, and it’s going to be a particularly scarring one which will move you on to your next challenge – the North Node moving into Leo – aka finding your pride in how you re-confront your mistakes. Do you see failures as opportunities for transformation or do you see them as a wall that you cannot push through, boxing you in and suffocating you – forcing you to pace in circles for all of eternity? Usually when these situations hit us, when we are stuck in a room with a door that does not open whether we push or pull, it is time to start digging instead…

The Sun(Ace of Wands), Moon(The Tower), and Pluto (5 of Cups)- There is a dark serpent energy here, slithering its way into every crevice of your life and offering you another bit of the fruit that opens your eyes. Are you too scared to actually face what your world is really like?  This moon is a visionary moon and wants to show you the truth; no matter how grotesquely it may manifest for we’ve all been lying to ourselves in one way or another and creating monsters because of this. Scorpio hates a liar – even a liar with good intentions – so truths she has to tell will always leave a shiver up your spine. The passion during this moon is extraordinarily intense and also extraordinarily sexual. This is all because this moon has been touched by Pluto (and we all know what happens when you are touched by Pluto, you get pulled into the fucking underworld – gnashing teeth and bodies of hell). Your sense for danger will be heightened and your aggression toward being dominated will become deadly under these stars. And pay close attention, Heretics, because people’s corruption will rise to the surface like swamp scum.

When animals sense danger, their sexual urges also increase. It’s a strange “mate before you can’t pass on your legacy” sort of feeling, and we are all experiencing the pressure in society.  The depravity is far more evident than it ever was – no matter how dressed up we try to make the world and our lives. At this point it’s like putting lipstick on a corpse; we still see how dead the world is becoming day by day and we notice this death creeping into our own lives as well. We sit at work, wondering why the fuck we are really there and what the purpose of it all is – no matter how seemingly fulfilling your job may be, it is still feeding a dark system (Why does your yoga studio need a rich girl merchandise section if yoga is a spiritual art? Where is the money in your non-profit really going?) We are feeding our souls into a soulless machine that loves to lie to us and give us the illusion of purpose, and the burden of this daily activity is making our subconscious scream in terror – wanting to take a hammer to all the things around us. This moon is Kali energy – here to swallow whole false towers.  And what happens when dismantling begins? Deceit gets far more intense. Enemies find a new wrath during this full moon, and an “evil” sort of energy prevails similar to what we had during the new moon in Scorpio back on Hallow’s Eve 2016.  Your “demons” are coming back to play in hoards, and I suggest you do not ignore them and continue making them more grotesque due to your self delusion. You may call what you see “evil” but it is really just all of the massive amounts of repression being let out – oozing through our pours and permeating our dreams. This is a healing moon, but healing in a sort of violent way where you must sear the wound with fire in order to close it. Healing through “sex magick” is a must with this Pluto sextile, and a warning to keep your eyes open is also a must. It seems the universe wants to reveal some dangerous truths to us, and they may manifest in very violent and “sinful” ways.

Mercury (Hangman), Saturn (Ace of Pentacles), Uranus (High Priestess)- You ever have a really bad trip?  You know, you take a bunch of psychedelics and you realize just how artificial everything is. You get the creeps when you look at advertisements, you want to shatter your tv, and you want to go lie outside in the grass and feel something real? It’s this weird understanding that we have built false laws into our lives – a sort of self imposed hell where we believe in weird things like light always prevailing and that somehow none of us have primal urges toward aggression. Why do you think we have the reptilian part of our brain that we do? There is a reminder here that we live in two worlds. One is the world which we have created that is based on abstract concepts like, “freedom,” and “justice,” and “morality,” etc, and the other world is the Scorpionic world – the one based off of the true order of things that rests just below the surface and wrecks our false dreams at every turn. And in the true order of things, death and violence and transformation is a daily occurring thing. Most humans live their lives trying to manifest themselves into the perfect marketed image of a human, when humanity is far more gritty and elusive and intense than we could ever believe.

There is wisdom in the chaos – wisdom in the violence of nature that we must take to heart and swallow like a pill. Do not ignore the fact that you can only gain false purpose if you follow an abstract path. There is reality, and there is human simulated reality that we have roped together as a collective. Do not let the latter weigh you down and make you feel any less than. Stick to your intuition during this lunation, and don’t fall for false prophets who promise you the gold of heaven or some sort of abstract method of breaking down human behavior. There is a wisdom you seek deep in mother earth – deep in reality and it’s true constructs that can only be intuited, not abstractly manifested by the mind.

Venus (5 Swords)- So it’s time to wrap up your payment for Venus Retrograde, where you may have destroyed your values for momentary delights. Our girl is just about out of shadow (another 9 days after this full moon), but the Scorpio energy of this lunation is going to be a bit of an inquisition. There is a “struggling against fate” energy here, where we may be attempting to get back something that we lost during Venus’ Babylonian rage through our lives. But, again, the lesson during this lunation is that not everything can be intellectualized and you must look deep into yourself to see if the right choices were made. Even if something feels painful and crushing, the severance of that limb may be the very thing that saves your life and lets you continue growing. You made the decisions you made, now there is no going back. So move on with it; I promise you there are greener pastures ahead that you just can’t see through the cloud of your tears. I know it is difficult to realize people’s true intentions with you, but Venus retrograded to show us that not everyone’s love is a positive influence on our life. Love is a wonderful thing, but some love is shackles of our past karma and repression. Some “love” just smooths things over gets us off, like a cheap prostitute, instead of forcing us to reckon with ourselves and truly transform into what we are meant to be. Don’t stay with lovers, don’t feed lovers that do not feed your purpose.

Mars (Temperance), Jupiter (10 of Wands), Neptune (5 of Wands)-  Alejandro Jodorowsky once said, “Birds born in a cage think that flying is an illness.” Although I agree with Alejandro to an extent, I also believe that said birds have an instinct to fly that itches and prods at them to no extent yet their circumstances make it impossible to ever realize what that itching and prodding is actually for. Maddening, isn’t it? I find humans to be the exact same way. We play these abstract games with each other, not realizing that they are mere shadows of how reality truly manifests. Our joy is taxed right now, and we see no end in sight with all the burdens we have piled upon ourselves. But wait! The key is to continue churning out rawness no matter how tired you may feel by these burdens and the heaviness of cultural dogma. Keep sending out the signals so that other humans know they are not alone in feeling this maddening separation from our true nature. You do not have to be anything the powers that be are telling you to be, and they continue to dump more and more on you so that you suffocate under the structures instead of smash them – showing everyone else that you don’t have to live any particular way. It is time to use the master’s weapons against him, so figure out how to use the system to your advantage and temper a transformation as if this reality is some sort of training regime – a cocoon if you will. In short, don’t give up on your dream just because the world is shitting on it. When the ancient Greeks died, the primary question anyone asked was, “Did they have passion?” And if so, their life was worth something incalculable. “Success” in this world may be the death of your soul. So although right now you may have to resign to the system in order to feed your family and keep yourself out of the prison industrial complex, do not stop plotting your escape. If you do, your repression of your instinct to fly will continue to manifest as demons in your head and you will have to eternally confront them and explain why you would rather live in a lie.