Originally published on Heretical Oracles under the pen name Artemis.
“All women sell sex; most of them just don’t take cash (nor do they each sell to more than one ‘client’ at a time).” – Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Effective Dates: May 10th- August 27th 2017 (In Shadow til October 10th 2017)
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I create drama in my own relationship. I am so use to hostility, from a very young age, that living without it makes me feel naked and on edge. If I’m not constantly fighting, then I don’t feel like things are “normal,” and that in itself is incredibly troubling. The only way to deal with bad cycles like this is to turn on your heal and face it head on, and that is exactly what Juno in Rx is going to do – turn the fuck around and actually LOOK. Juno Retrograde forces us to review our ideas about what commitment means, why we have the power struggles that we do in our relationships, and about sacrifice and loyalty in partnership. Essentially, what does it mean to be good to your partner? There is an art to this, and one can never become an artist without attention to detail.
We don’t usually have full clarity on something until it is gone, and then after it’s gone we need to go through a time of anguish before realizing it took two to tango and that no relationship ending is the fault of just one individual. At some point, we need to be humbled, and that’s not a fun fucking process at all. No one wants to be made to feel like shit when the other person clearly treated them like shit as well, and no one wants to think they weren’t all they could be in a relationship. But fuck, we keep things hanging on when they should end, and we end some things abruptly because of our own fear and insecurities. Our timing is fucking horrible. We introduce old toxic behaviors because we have become habituated to them. And we don’t apologize. We don’t do the “shadow work” required. We don’t look at our own projections; we don’t humble ourselves, and isn’t that one of the tenants of love? To humble thyself – to show thyself raw and true?
It’s hard to move on. Even when you are the one who is ready to make peace, the other may not be. We need to learn to keep that peace within ourselves so we can move on to our new partnerships and friendships with a clear heart and mind. If we introduce the toxicity of the past, the insecurities, fragility, and the old habits of our past partner that we carbon copy onto our new, then we kill the love before it has a chance to thrive. We then just mimic a relationship without really having a relationship. The key to the thing is right in it’s name – RELATE. One must communicate, mirror, and process. But I get it, it’s hard to do this if you are not with someone who is willing to give you loyalty. If you do not have commitment and loyalty, it is hard to dive into the well of your heart and purge your demons. That whole process is a bit terrifying for people, and thus commitment sounds like the worst word in the world. But the thing is, when you have safe structures around you – only then can you let the poison of the past out. How can you heal when you are afraid of abandonment? So Juno asks, why do you invite people into your life who cannot truly be there for you? Why do you commit to the people that you commit to? What are you trying to re-live?
Our cycles in relationships will be examined like crazy right now – especially after a rough Venus in Retrograde season is just about over. This is the perfect time to work past your old relationship trauma, to make peace, to destroy the patterns so that they do not destroy what is precious to you right now, and to realize that your habituated behaviors come out even when you don’t think they do. If you expect your partner to deal with your purging, you must also help them deal with their’s. A commitment goes both ways, so question why you are not willing to go all out for them if they are for you (or vice versa if they are the one who isn’t reaching across the isle). Why are you spinning in one place, forever trapped in the habits of the past? What is it you really need to work through? What insecurity is really driving those fights that you and your partner continuously have? It’s time to nip it in the bud before it rots the whole plant. It’s time for some honesty. It’s time to be humble and to be true. Because you love them… don’t you?