Uranus Retrograde – Mad King

Originally published on Heretical Oracles under the pen name Artemis.

He who reigns within himself and rules passions, desires, and fears is more than a king.” John Milton

Effective Dates: August 3rd, 2017- January 3rd, 2018

So, heretic, do you need permission?  Do you need pure and simple definition?  Do you not truly believe that we are all constructing reality, together? We have as much say as anyone else about what is going to happen to us. We are a family, a species, a planet, interconnected and flying this spaceship earth to gods know where, but we are in it together. There is so much infighting happening on the surface of our only provider of life as we know it. We squabble over games when we all know, inherently, that there is a greater picture. The thing is, we think we are alone. We think that there is nothing out there, so we might as well just exist as if the confines of this space rock is our only purpose. Oh no, Heretics, this is our home, and we are setting our own house on fire with us in it.

So, heretic, do you need permission to rebel against this?  

Uranus is done fucking around. Uranus is tired of his children acting like sheep, blinding and drugging themselves daily, asleep.  Uranus, remember, is the awakener – Prometheus. We get stuck in a worldview, heretics, and sometimes it takes a burst of lightening from the sky to get us back on track. Again, like any Uranus retrograde, expect the unexpected and expect that a revolution is coming. This retrograde comes right before two eclipses, one in Uranus ruled Aquarius and the other in Solar Leo.  The king and his kingdom, heretics, and I must get political here because these two signs are highly political. We must believe and expect that we will come together, through revolution – an information revolution – that will liberate us from the rule of the few. We live in a global society, steering this global spaceship and we must keep it alive. The only way to do so is to cooperate, challenge constructively, and celebrate both healthy independence and original thought – let live – and cooperation/networking. Together, we can do this, all of us, we can come together from all 4 corners and figure out this insanity together.

But first, you need to build a spine. The 7 of wands stands in the middle of this reading like kundalini. There is completion before it (4 of Wands) and a new religion after it (Hierophant). We must celebrate ourselves against all odds. We must parade ourselves, our true selves, and not allow anyone to prescribe who we are. And we also must find a language, a way to communicate with each individual so we can share experience. We are each a small part of a greater whole, and all perspectives, true to themselves, must be allowed to shine. We create radicalization when we hold things down, assert too much rule over them. I suppose this period of time, with Saturn coming into Capricorn and a Leo total eclipse over the United States, we will find out just what it is that finally wakes us all up – the control asserted over your own life and the control asserted over the masses.  Until then, this is Mad King energy, and you must realize that only you rule over yourself, and the spine, true courage and valor, is what connects us to our higher purpose. Courage is a vehicle, and without it we remain where we are, complacent and asleep.

Uranus Direct in Aries – Chain Breaker

Originally published on Heretical Oracles under the pen name Artemis.

“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.” – Lao Tzu

Effective Date:  December 29th, 2016- August 2nd, 2017

You aren’t the only one that feels like you have just jumped out of a fucking airplane.  What have we done?  Impulsiveness is at an all time high, and the untrained eye will tell you that you are fucking up your life by making the rash decisions on your mind – but trust me, this is what is necessary right now.  Listen to your instincts and break free of your past cycles.  To do this, you are going to have to ignore your fucking brain right now.  Your brain is hardwired to repeat patterns, but your gut notices the underlying intentions of the world around you.  Have faith, Heretics, because although it looks like things are going to hell in a hand-basket, sometimes things need to be shaken the fuck up for the type of change that is necessary to take place.  Sometimes we must go through hell in order to fully realize what we need to build heaven.  You will have motivation to actually fucking DO SOMETHING like never fucking before.  So harness this, because we all know how precious inspiration can be.

Before we really begin, I’d like for you to go take a look at your natal chart and find what house ARIES is located in.  This is the house/area of life that will be primarily effected by Uranus going direct.  Also, keep your eye on any planets in your natal chart at the degree of Uranus upon going direct (he will be going direct at 20 degrees Aries).  If you have any planets at 20 degrees, they will be effected by this movement.

Ok, now that you have your house + planets effected in mind, listen up!  We have two difficult aspects on Uranus as he pushes into forward motion:

First, we have a square with the god of the underworld – Pluto – who is about to make a conjunction with the sun in the coming days.   For this, I pulled the Ace of Swords.  This means he is coming to the forefront of action, and he will be bathed in light (which gods of the underworld loathe – they like working in the shadows).  The truth is coming out, whether you like it or not, so it is best to muster up some bravery.  Already we feel the tension between the unconscious forces that motivate us, and our great desire for separation from the karma of our past.  Uranus is giving us a chance to “break the chain” so to speak.  Here’s the thing- a square is a “difficult” aspect, meaning there is a lot to be gained here if you are the brave sort.  You can impress Uranus by confronting your shadow aspects head on.   Integration is key here.  Instead of beating yourself up for everything you find inside of your head, use it to your advantage.  There isn’t a single soul on this planet that doesn’t have what they call “unsavory aspects” to their personality.  What will be different here is that you will start figuring out how to integrate these traits in your life to work for you instead of against you.  Integrate, Heretics.  This is exactly why these shadows were created in the first place – because that trait was not integrated appropriately into your life.  Uranus will give you a chance to start again.

We will also have Mercury retrograde in Capricorn and the Sun + Moon in Capricorn squaring off with Uranus as he goes direct.  For this I pulled the 3 of Pentacles + 1o of Wands, meaning that there is much tension being pushed our way to create a plan and start building.  The time is now, and even if you feel like you already have far too much on your plate – the time is fucking now, Heretics.

Well, what the hell is good?  A few things, actually.  We have fun opposition going on between Uranus conjunct Eris and Jupiter in Libra while Venus in Aquarius is trine Uranus in Aries.  For this, I pulled the 3 of Cups.  In Jupiter Libra lies our joy, our partnerships, our push for a Venusian renaissance, our desire for justice and balance within the world.  But it is being challenged by a selfish, thirsty as fuck Uranus Aries – pure individualism.  So that’s your challenge – the see saw between your relationships and your own personal destiny.  How will you find a balance between  funneling power into yourself and the others of your life?  Oh, but lucky us, Heretics, because we have a trine going on between Uranus and Venus in Aquarius.  This is the key to solving this opposition problem – essentially the paradigm shift that will allow for this dichotomy to meld.  Motherfuckin’ lightening flashes of insight in regard to our relationships will be a reaaaaal thing right now.  Aquarius is ruled by Uranus, so Venus will be at home dealing with this furious energy.  You will get the zeal to do exactly what needs to be done to encourage your independence and the independence of your loved ones while still maintaining a tight knit network.  This is the Aquarian way, and it is the perfect balance between Libra and Aries.

As was said in our Venus in Aquarius article, “Yes, in fact, you are going to know exactly what it is going to take to obtain the type of love you desire.  The real question is, are you going to have the courage to rebel against perceived restrictions to obtain it?” Uranus going direct should definitely aid you in this.

And last but not least, Heretics, we have a delightful Saturn in Saggo trine this Uranus going direct.  For this, I pulled The Fool.  It seems our karma has been lifted – if only for a time – and we are free to choose where to go from here.  The opportunities are few and far between, so we must make the most of this.  I must remind you – be careful what you wish for, because it may just come true under this transit’s watchful eye.  Your difficult lessons have been immense this year, but they were necessary for you to obtain the pressure needed to launch yourself to your destination.  You must take this opportunity to use all of the lessons of the past 2 years, since Saturn entered Saggo, and strike.  It’s literally sink or swim – change, like your entire life is demanding you to, or get ready for some even crueler punishments from Saturn.  Essentially – fucking take that god damn leap of faith.  You know for a fact Uranus wouldn’t hesitate to do so.   

Uranus Retrograde in Aries – Acid Trip

Originally published on Heretical Oracles under the pen name Artemis.


Effective Date: July 29th- December 29th (Shadow period til April 15th 2017)

“But I don’t want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin.” – Aldous Huxley, Brave New World

Cards:  Death, 5 of Wands, 8 of Wands

Helios calls me the “Uranus Expert” around here (probably because I am a quadruple Aquarian nutjob).  I am, very much so, a Uranian girl.  Chaos stalks beside me like my shadow, and it has taught me lessons only dark gods could.  Uranus teaches harsh, quick, scarring lessons that make you feel a fool for ever thinking your perceptions were true.  Happiness?  Smash.  Peace?  Smash.  Victory?  Smash.  Death.  The trick is to roll with the punches and get comfortable with death, for things need to die and new things need to be born for evolution to occur (another facet of Uranus).  Trust me, it is a good thing to learn lessons harshly – as much as it might feel like someone emptied a shotgun into your chest.  In order to get the shackles of the Grand Illusion off of us, we need to swing hard and harsh.

Do you want to know a great depiction of Uranus?  The Joker; pure madness blazing through, blowing up banks, institutions, and hitting onlookers with stray bullets because chaos doesn’t care who you are.  Chaos comes and finds you wherever you may be.  You could be sitting anywhere, safe and sound, and chaos will find a way of creeping in.  It will jar you, it will shock you, and it will rearrange you.  The key is to take the dramatic lesson you have learned and willingly change from it.  If you fight it, if you try and make sense of it, it will eat you alive.  It is senseless.  It is primordial.  It is wild.  You cannot tame it with your rationality.  And in Aries, which we all know is the driving force of impulse, Uranus is directly channeling the initial khaos needed to birth a new world.  When we explained Neptune Retrograde to you lovely individuals, I spoke of how the first Octave of the planets ends with Saturn, and the new Octave begins with Uranus.  The world is changing and re-birthing, my friends, and the change is going to be revolutionary.

Do you want to know another great depiction of Uranus?  Tesla.  I write this piece on Nikola Tesla’s birthday, amazed by the elastic mind of such a great man.  The Visionary was a perfect example of the inventive nature of Uranus; Uranus and Pluto were situated in his first house.  5 of Wands.  When one is playful, when one is flowing with the change like a dancer – be it a dance of pain or bliss – Uranus is pleased.  He will channel you with insights like flashes of lightning.  If you fight him, he will bring you madness.

We Aquarians always get depicted as a chilly scientist coldly observing human nature.  They call us perverse because of our curiosity, and they call us voyeurs because of it as well (hey, we’re just taking notes).  We, by nature, know that the world is full of unusual and eccentric things that, once we come into contact with, will blast us off into new worlds of perception.  Well, Uranus is very concerned with every perception of reality.  You must play with your perceptions in order to grow and learn.  Change of perception also teaches you what structures of reality were True and which were false towers ready to crumble.  If you aren’t changing, you are dying, and there are only two constants in this world; death and change.  Cancer will kill you because that particular clumping of cells refuses to change and die.

Aquarius rules the tributaries, the circulatory and nervous systems of the body – it spreads and seeps through the paths of least resistance to get as much information and energy out there as possible; like lightening.  Uranus and Aquarius rule technology, which gives us even less resistance (which meets new resistances, which forces us to change once again).  Whenever Uranus goes into retrograde (and then swings back out), massive technological advances occur.  Think augmented reality.  Think transhumanism and attempts at further modifications of reality.  We have to keep a keen eye out right now, because Uranus usually does things without thinking too much about them.  I mean, that is necessary – sometimes we shouldn’t think at all and just act from our instincts.  But we must always retain the checks.  Thankfully Saturn will be going direct soon, so the changes that will take place will be for a very strong purpose.  They may not LOOK that way at first, but the pieces will fall together and you will see clearly the grand plan.

This brings us to the 8 of Wands and our warning.  It’s going to get a lot overwhelming, guys.  You think we have had insanity?  We haven’t had insanity just yet.  Uranus conj Eris was a trigger point, all of the blood moons leading up to it were trigger points, the grand cross was another trigger point, and now Uranus retrograding will put the damn cherry on top.  Expect more political upheavals.  Uranus definitely rules that (being the planet of Revolution, after all).  And Eris hanging out with him right now is going to make things that much more rebellious.  We can’t fucking take it anymore!  We are crawling in our skin and the sickness of society has gotten to the point where we can’t ignore it anymore.  The visions will come quickly, messages will come quickly, insight will pummel you and overwhelm you.  Go.  With.  The.  Punches.  It is only going to get more violent from here on out.  It’s best to remove that malignancy below the surface with a knife than to let it grow and kill you.

The last time that Eris/Uranus were conj was in 1932 (also the date of the formation of the Nazi party).  It is now 2016.  For those of you into numerology, what do you get when you divide 32 by 2?  16.  And what is 16 in the Tarot (and the name of this god forsaken year)?  The Tower.  Let the towers crumble, my friends.  Let them fall and see what is standing when they do, because after this year, nothing is ever going to be the same again.

“It’s an open ceremony and we all start the same
Cells grow to cellphone, some form stars
Some get put in cells, sex fucking sells
Know you know the drill so hear me sound the bell
You use new keys to type old deeds
Set up by old needs, what world peace?
What was in ya read? Yeah what was in ya feed?
Who do you get to with your internet lead?
Things do change and change can have range
System shouldn’t operate by sticking me in a cage

Ain’t Dalai Lama
Ain’t Sai Baba
My words are my armor and you’re about to meet your karma”  – M.I.A., Karmageddon 




Uranus Conjunct Eris – War Drums

Originally published on AstroGeek and Heretical Oracles under the pen name Artemis.


“In chaos, there is fertility.” ― Anaïs Nin

Effective Dates: June 1 2016- May 16 2018

(Cards: Uranus 2 of Wands, Ace of Wands, 3 of Wands Eris Tower, King of Wands, Emperor)-

So the very slow moving asteroid Eris (formerly known as Persephone – consort of Pluto) is going conjunct with our familiar giant planet of Chaos, Uranus.  And I pulled a fuck ton of fucking crazy cards.  Happy April Fucking Fools!

Eris is laughing at us already.    She throws a golden apple into the center of our cosmic party.  “For the most beautiful one!  Kallisti!”  Are you the one worthy of picking it up?  Could you?  Should you? Probably not, because Eris is the goddess of motherfucking DISCORD and CHAOS.  Lower your egos down a notch, everyone.  She’s going to sucker punch us all one by one, and we need to stick together here.  Shit is going to get rough for everyone, but seriously – we all need to stick together.  Eris has no mercy.  She will show you what you need to see, and she will show you violently.


Get out something to chew on or find a spot you can pace in, because this one is going to be rough.

In all seriousness, this is a very serious post.  “Why so serious, Artemis?” Because the last time this conjunct happened, the Nazi party sprouted, FDR became president, and the initial rattlings of WWII started to become visible.  I know you can all feel it.  Don’t bullshit me.  Don’t bullshit yourself.  You can see it in the eyes of everyone around you.  We all know something big is on the horizon, and we can all smell the blood in the air.  We don’t know exactly what it is… but our spidey senses are alarming the fuck out.

Birds can feel a storm before it comes and flock together (and they fly the fuck away).  Sensing danger is instinctual.  We don’t even know we are doing it, but our subconscious mind picks up on the clues around us.  We can all sense when we are being lied to and culled.  We are being penned up, and they are about to take us to slaughter.  The thing is, animals know when they are about to get slaughtered.  And they start going MAD.

Our political climate is set for it.  It is almost impeccable.  Whatever way we decided to tip, we have already set up the dominoes.  All Eris is doing is snickering and toppling them over.  She is the initial spark; the CHAOS needed to get motion going.

So what is Uranus doing in this reading?  He is saying, fuck this shit, stuff is going to start changing around here!  Like flashes of lightening, we wont see it coming and it might be a little disturbing at first.  The outer planets like to deal in the macro.  They talk in politics and mass human behavior.  Uranus likes to talk about revolution and innovation.  It looks like some massive inventions might be on the horizon this year.  Bold new plans.  Bold new uptakes.  Bold New World.  Will it be for the better?  I don’t know.  Was the invention of the nuclear bomb for the betterment of humanity?  Was the invention of cars for the betterment of humanity?  No thing in itself is purely good or evil.  Is it good for YOUR worldview?  Whatever the innovations will be, they will be an evolutionary step for humanity.

Around and around we go.  You see, our sun (Sol) is rocketing through space at about 70,000 km an hour.  This means that the planets are trailing after it in a spiral fashion, creating a literal helix.  Sometimes the planets coast out ahead of the sun, sometimes they trail behind.  The sun isn’t just sitting there as planets rotate around it in a static fashion.  Oh no.  We are fucking throttling through space right now at high speeds.  The world is in constant movement, spiraling outward, each rotation the same yet different.  We have reached another solar rotation of Uranus since 1932, my friends, and now he and Eris will be effecting similar yet different revolutionary change.  Notice the patterns.  As above, so below.

It is time to seize opportunity.  Shit is fucked up.  It seriously is.  All around the world, shit is fucked up.  We see it clear as day, so why do we look away?  This energy is going to make a lot of us snap back to reality.  Things are happening HERE, where you LIVE.  Do you see the massive election going on?  It is one of the craziest we have had in decades.  Everything hangs by a thread.  America is a failing Empire, and the route we choose to take is extremely important right now.  Rise to the occasion.  This is our last chance.  We have the Ace of Wands next, indicating that a surge of power and heat will descend upon us.  People are going to get riled up.  It is inevitable.  How they decide to harness this surge of energy will be up to them.  Will we use it to destroy our enemies, or will we use it to destroy each other?  We end with the two of wands for Uranus, warning us against arrogance.  This combination props up revolutionaries who are working through truly Aquarian values; humanitarianism and group evolution.  We are BOLD right now – especially in the sign of Aries.  We want our voices to be fucking heard already!  Can you hear it?  All over the world, the people are roaring.

Chaos is, at first, seen as a shiney novelty.  We have our new thing, like the smart phone, and it is glorious.  This is like the butterfly effect.  The novelty gains popularity.  More and more people want it.  More and more Chaos ensues.  We source slave labor to make their parts.  We suck whole generations into a small screen so that we can program them easier.  Don’t you see?  Chaos, at first, is a tempting seductress.  She eases our worry and shows us something innovative and great.  What we don’t realize is that if we don’t steer her OUR direction, that she will show us the folly of our ways.  She will show us just how we can abuse our power.  This is Eris’ lesson.

The cards I pulled for Eris are kinda ominous.  Why wouldn’t they be?  It’s fucking Eris, the goddess of Discord.  The information we are being fed is trying to stack things against us.  It is making us feel weak and stupid.  Be warned, Eris is going to take all of this down.  The wool is going to be pulled from our eyes, but it’s not going to be very pleasant.  But hey, at least we will finally be getting some fucking truth, right?  The Tower card is indicating that there is mass corruption that is about to go down.  What is the most obvious metaphor for The Tower card?  Probably 9/11.  No one knew those towers were going to come down (well, I could argue conspiracy, but I’ve already rambled long enough).  It was seemingly out of nowhere, and it completely changed the culture of the United States.  Seemingly out of nowhere, something may occur that will rattle our very foundations as a country.  What could the unexpected be?

I guess I really can’t tell you, can I?

The next two cards I pulled for Eris are the King of Wands and The Emperor.  The King of Wands is the King who cannot sit on his throne.  He is an action oriented king, and he is an innovator.  In my Hexen 2.0 Tarot deck, he is represented by Nicola Tesla.  The King of Wands is obsessed.  A new zeal will move about the political atmosphere; a fever of some kind.  This could be good, and this could be bad.  Really, people, it’s all about your intent.  Bend the energy to your will.  The final card is The Emperor.  He is Mars, and he is industry and war.  This card in this position warns us that every little thing that we do now has larger repercussions in the future.  We are walking on a tight rope and we need to sway in just the right ways.  Do you really know what being in charge of your own destiny feels like?  The reigns are about to switch, and if we, as the people, cannot take them, then someone else will.  Who will rule?  Will the chaos that ensues put someone diabolical in that oval office, or will we be so fired up by this energy that we will storm the capital and take back what is ours?